Temper Tantrums

Discussion in 'Mindless Banter' started by Erik, Feb 15, 2010.

  1. Erik

    Erik Admin

    Posted this in my journal but thought I'd get the thoughts/experiences of all the parents here:

    Alyssa, in the last week or so, has entered 'tantrum mode'. As you know, she's only 14 months - as of tomorrow actually.

    Talk about dramatic.

    I guess we saw signs of this months ago, when she'd just throw herself back arching her back when she got upset.

    But now, she flops down on the floor and starts kicking her feet. I honestly thought tantrums like that where you're banging your hands and feet on the floor were 'TV tantrums' - fake/acting.

    Guess not.

    Sometimes she throws in the 'back and forth' head turn.

    It was funny at first, now it's less funny as we recognize the need to start addressing it somehow. We'll have to be consistent in our efforts to break this and not reinforce it at all.

    I understand that it's generally a normal phase little ones go through from what I've read, but I thought I'd throw it out there to the parents for comments.
  2. Inatic

    Inatic Ya Gotta Wanna! Moderator

    I get a giggle out of this.. dont :chairshot: me :D

    What i posted in your journal was:

    Ignoring it and walking away.
    Imitation. I'd sometimes lay on the floor and do the same thing.. They end up :lol:
    in resturants or out shopping, we'd often visit the carseat and wait it out. Then go back in.
  3. crystlemc

    crystlemc No, I am not cross eyed

    :laughatyou: Seriously though, with our kids, we would just walk away and ignore them if we were at home. If they followed us and were still in tantrum mode, we'd leave the room again and just continue ignoring them until they "got it". If we were out in public, I just packed them in the car and left. It's easier to leave and come back later, than it is to have to explain to the police how you lost your mind and offered to give your shrieking, unreasonable spawn to the nearest stranger.

    For those that don't know me, that last part was a joke.

    But yeah, we really would just pack them back into the car and leave.

    Good luck to you. This is one of those phases that make you question your sanity and the wisdom of procreating... :lol3:
  4. Meadows

    Meadows misses her dad

    We totally ignore any tantrum or fit like out bursts. We continue to do whatever it was we were doing as cheerfully as possible. So far Sadie has decided to join us rather than continue with the fit. She hasn't had what I would call a total melt down...yet.
  5. trinitylove

    trinitylove Buff in spirit

    I have to echo what everyone else said about ignorinf it as much as possible.
    There's a clip they show on America's Funniest Videos where the kid has a major on the floor tantrum, but only when the mom can see him. She would walk into another room, he'd see she was gone and stop. Then he'd get up and go find where she was and drop to the floor right in front of her.
    Basically until they learn to process their frustration better, they will do it with tantrums and do it so you don't miss it and can't ignore it.
  6. Cass

    Cass Well-Known Member

    It's called terrible twos, as that's when tantrums typically peak.

    Looks like you have many months of fun ahead. :lol:

    As her verbal skills improve, and she establishes more effective techniques to deal with her frustration they will subside.

    I think it's a good idea to keep a log of when they happen. You can note time of day, if she’s tired, hungry, over stimulated or if she is frustrated about an inability to do something new she is learning. That will give you a map to better navigate the episodes, and possibly steer her away from them before they become full blown. If you sense a tantrum, try to distract her with something interesting or new. Maybe stop and take a few minutes to read her a book, or have her help you do something.

    Don’t laugh, don’t overreact and keep cool. Walk out of the room if you need to, but make sure she’s safe. Once the tantrum is over and she has gained control, hug her.

    Also, this is the perfect video to take to show at her wedding.

    • Like Like x 1
  7. Sandy

    Sandy Well-Known Member

    First piece of parenting wisdom I will share is "this too will pass"! :console:

    I agree with all the above, ignore the tantrum (move her somewhere safer if needed), don't give in, and when she calms down, distract.

    Do you know what is likely to upset her or when?

    You can give warnings before ending a favourite activity (e.g., one more turn, then..., or two more minutes, then...). She won't understand the words the first few times, but she will get it.

    When appropriate, put some control in her hands by offering choices (e.g., Daddy turn off the light or Alyssa turn off the light?).

    When you know she is "fragile" (e.g., tired, cranky, hungry), use distractions, humour, and songs to move through tough spots. Both Anthony and I would break into a spontaneous song to get a cranky toddler through a difficult time (pick a tune and make up the words...it really can work well..."this is the way we...." was always a favourite).
  8. Erik

    Erik Admin

    Thanks for the replies so far. :thumb:
  9. Erik

    Erik Admin

    Too funny. I'm going to have to pay attention is see if she does that.
  10. Erik

    Erik Admin

    That's a great idea. Thanks Cass.

    :lol: :lol: Good point. I'm so grabbing a video.
  11. jackie

    jackie Well-Known Member

    IMO - I am going to go against the majority. I would not ignore it. I would pick her up the 2nd she starts to throw her self down & sit her on your lap & say no & say you are going to sit with mommy/daddy until you can get your emotions (stop crying) under control. I would hold her & say I love you but this is not the way to act & hold her until it stops. It takes time but it is so worth it. Hopefully by the time your son is born you will have the tantrums under control.
    With our 1st we ignored it (because we didn't know any better). Than we had our 2nd when our first was 18 months & the tauntrums got so out of control. Every time I would go to feed the baby my dd would have a tantrum. With our next 3 children we grabbed them the 2nd it started & they stopped instantly. I know all kids have different personalities. Our 1st was so strong willed so I am not even sure if grabbing her right away would have helped , but I was not going to risk that again.
    Good luck!!
  12. Marie

    Marie FITS Lifestyle

    I can be of no help Erik...
    cuz actually my 2 girls never did this... thank God, we were Blessed!
    but my youngest did have what some would call Colic... I called it scream cry...
    but this was when she was a baby and lasted about 6 weeks (I think, it was 15 years ago so I could be off some LOL)

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