Disordered Eating Support Thread

Discussion in 'Diet, Nutrition and Supplements' started by BigDog, Jan 30, 2009.

  1. BigDog

    BigDog Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure how many will be comfortable sharing their experiences with food issues but I'm opening this up for anyone interested or seeking advice, support or a place to vent.

    This has been the worst month for me with food issues. I have been jumping from binging/purging, chewing/spitting and not eating at all the entire month. A combination of lousy weather forcing school closings and missed gym days, insanity on the work front, Nick's ongoing health issues, losing my health insurance, and multiple daily stressors have left me flailing. I've been jumping from 114-121 weekly. Binge, purge, starve, repeat.

    Just a venting session for me this time.
     
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  2. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    I've dealt w/ issues more often than I'd care to note.

    My issues stem more from my flawed relationship with food than anything else. Nothing short of good sex compares to the feeling that I get from eating. Sounds crazy, but it's true.
     
  3. Sandy

    Sandy Well-Known Member

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    This is just what I need. I am a closet binger. No one knows. Not even dh.
    I can go months with no problems and then can get myself stuck in a binge cycle. I am struggling right now.

    I would love to hear what has worked for those who have overcome bingeing.
     
  4. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    I used to binge OFTEN. Over the course of about 1-1/2 years, I began to work on overcoming it....REALLY work on overcoming it--not the "oh, I'm gonna get over this" cycle.

    The first thing that I had to do is change my way of thinking. I ha dto stop telling myself that I couldn't overcome it. I began telling myself (mentally and vocally) that I was overcoming it. There were times that I would b stuffing my face while saying "I am overcoming this". There were times that I felt like it wasn't working, but eventually, hearing it over and over again began to change my thought patterns. As I said, it took a long time, but it was well worth it. Change your thoughts. Tell yourself that YOU CAN!! Take a note from Obama. YES YOU CAN! YES YOU CAN! :lol:

    I know that it is not easy, but you can. It was gradual for me. I found myself binging less and less until it was no longer an issue. I still had/have times when I overeat, but not to the point that I used to. I haven't made myself sick eating in quite a while.
    You can always feel free to send me a pm if you are having a hard time--that goes for anyone on lbf that has this issue. I've been helping another member here through this and she has made GREAT improvements! Well on her way to breaking the cycle.
    :)

    I've been through it and offer my experience and help to anyone who wants it. Just contact me if you are not comfortable posting here. :love:
     
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  5. BigDog

    BigDog Well-Known Member

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    I think letting go of the "control" of food is a big one for me. The more I beat myself up after a binge, the more I despise myself and vow not to let it happen again, the more I binge.

    I also need to find another way to cope with stress and boredom. I need to find something that makes me feel good about who I am and stop turning to food to "fill me up".

    I have to go back to avoiding trigger foods because as much as I hate to admit it, some things I can't do in moderation.

    I need to remember how lousy I feel physically and emotionally the day after.
     
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  6. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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  7. mhawk

    mhawk Member

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    I understand about food issues. However I suffer from food restriction. I only eat certain foods (vegs and lean protein). I can't let go of my control over food. I eat alone in my bedroom where nobody can see me. I'm scared of food. I am scared of being fat and out of shape. But I am more scared of once I allow myself to eat something like cake or ice cream, because I'm scared I won't be able to stop eatting it once I start.
     
  8. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    Been there. It's not a good feeling. :hug:

    I restricted my eating for a long time and felt like you do. I also felt as though I didn't deserve to eat yummy stuff. Do you think you would be comfortable re-introducing one food at a time? Say, oats along w/ your protein?
     
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  9. Gnat

    Gnat Well-Known Member

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    I can completely relate to this. My problem has lasted over a decade...almost two actually.
    My problem is two fold...bingeing and purging. I had to deal with the purging first, as this was the most destructive part. Purging for me started as throwing up. I joined a support group, and found out that laxatives work really well too, so dropped the :barf: for X-lax. :eh: Needless to say, I dropped the support group.
    I used the same technique as you, B. Eventually, I weaned myself off the x. But it took a long time. I had to give myself permission to binge. ie after a binge, I would tell myself "it's o.k. so you screwed up. Suffer the consequences. It is the only way you will get over the cycle." Very hard to do. At first I couldn't. Eventually, I succeeded. I haven't purged in 6 months. I am very proud.
    Bingeing still occurs, but less frequently. Got better after I started on Erik's plan. Having the thought taken out of my meals helps. I don't wake up with fear of food everymorning any more. My meals are laid out for me. "All" I have to do is stay on plan.

    Also a big one for me. Strangely, giving myself permission, not getting angry with myself but saying "o.k. you f'd up, let's try again" over and over seems to have helped.
    Boredom and stress are big. That's why I have that list on my fridge I mentioned in another thread. I have trained myself to go straight to the list when I "want"

    Me too. And there is nothing wrong with that.

    HUGE!!!! This helped a lot. I keep that feeling in the forefront of my mind all the time.

    Yes! Me too. But it is getting better.

    As B said earlier, I would also like to help if anyone wishes. It is a horrible thing to go through. Especially when you think you are alone. My hubby doesn't get it. I've been doing this on my own. Now that I have a better handle on it, I would love to help someone else. :love:
     
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  10. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    Very good point! It was difficult to stop beating myself up over binging. But, it was a HUGE step in the right direction. I think there's a bit of perfectionism that goes along w/ beating ourselves up when we overeat. We tell ourselves that we won't do it again and when we do, it shows a flaw that we'd rather not have. KNOWING that you WILL screw up at some point helps w/ that. Also, I think that, for me, it wasn't as much of giving myself permission as it was accepting the fact that it happens. Once I accepted that fact, I was able to handle it better mentally after I did binge.


    :clap:
     
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  11. Blondell

    Blondell Former Postwhore

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    good thread :)
     
  12. Gnat

    Gnat Well-Known Member

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    YES and YES!!!!!
    BTW, tried to rep you, but couldn't :scratch:
     
  13. Gnat

    Gnat Well-Known Member

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    :clap:
     
  14. BigDog

    BigDog Well-Known Member

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    Purging is pretty new for me...started right before the holidays. This behavior scares me even more than my anorexia. I've seen the kind of damage it can do and I feel so awful after I purge. Completely drained. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep when it is over.

    Congratulations on conquering that hurdle. You should be very proud. :hug: :clap:
     
  15. BigDog

    BigDog Well-Known Member

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    For me, the bolded is the crux of my problem. Perfection. HA! Nobody is perfect so why do I continue to set myself up like this? There is just way too much focus on food for me...it's really sick.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2009
  16. Sohee

    Sohee working on the bikini body

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    Agreed. I believe that bulimia is a lot more detrimental to your emotional and mental well-being than is anorexia. The anxiety, the racing heartbeat, the omg-I-have-to-get-this-food-out, kneeling over the toilet while you hold your hair back with one hand... it's never fun. Not to mention the bloodshot eyes, the sore throat, the disgusting relief you feel after getting rid of the obscene amount of food you just ingested-- mixed with guilt, of course-- along with having to hide it from other people. Bingeing on food and then missing out on social events because you need to spend that time trying to throw up instead.

    And yet... just a few days later-- heck, maybe even the day after-- you do it again.

    Not to say that anorexia's not serious. Both are extremely harmful, dangerous, life-threatening eating disorders. I've had both.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2009
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  17. Gnat

    Gnat Well-Known Member

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    Yes, it is completely debilitating and frightening. Embarrassing. I did exactly the same thing. And you think later, "why the hell did I just do that (again)?" It was affecting my family life (no one knew, but I had to hide. Pretend to be sick. Anything) I could not allow it anymore.

    Thanks. I am. But I do not consider it conquered. It is still struggle. Not everyday anymore, though. But I have managed to keep it at bay.
     
  18. Gnat

    Gnat Well-Known Member

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    :eek:mg: a fantastic summary.
     
  19. smuggie

    smuggie Maureen aka Mo

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    Yes it is, even for someone like me who has no issues with food.

    My sincerest wish for those of you who suffer from eating disorders is that you get a handle on your issues with food and take back control of your lives. [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2009
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  20. Sandy

    Sandy Well-Known Member

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    I too feel that perfection is the root of my challenges. I feel that others view me as having it all together all the time and while that sounds like a complement, sometimes I feel that I can never be allowed to screw up. When I do, and I talk about it, my feelings or thoughts are not valued, like my screw up off what is seem as a "perfect" course is not worthy of anyone's concern. Make any sense?
     
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