Disconnect b/w Stated Goals and Commitment to Them.

Discussion in 'Diet, Nutrition and Supplements' started by Erik, May 24, 2010.

  1. Anca

    Anca Well-Known Member

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    I'm running into this kind of people too... they know I'm a PT and see that I'm in shape and make healthy food choices so they start spouting off how they need to start exercising and eating healthier; they eat the healthy food when they're around me (or if they do eat the bad food, they go "I never do this!!"); some of those who say "Ok I reaaaally need you to help me lose weight" fall off the face of the earth once they receive my 7-page questionnaire and realize that hmm... this is gonna take some actual work. :rolleyes:
     
  2. Kristina

    Kristina Member

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    For me over the years I could always justify things in my head! My goals I wasn't "really" committed to! The words that changed how I look at my goals..forever
    "Are you willing to accept the consequences" Erik Ledin

    For me it's really that simple..I go to cheat..I hear those words..Do I want the goals or do I want the trail mix! No I'm not perfect and sometimes I want the trail mix..BUT I won't die if I don't have it and I know that my personal fitness goals take the number one position. Yeah it's hard, Yeah I get pissed, frustrated, hungry, grumpy and sometimes I cheat BUT I keep in mind the journey...It's so awesome that I look and feel great now but when I'm 80 and my body is healthy and I can take care of myself into my 90's or 100's that is better then any trail mix I have ever had!!!!!!!!! LOL
     
  3. pinkeraserwm

    pinkeraserwm Member

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    For me it's not that the goal is initially unimportant it's more that on occassions I lose sight of it or at least forget why it's so important. I start to get hung up on secondary things that are goal related but not important, then I get bogged down and forget what I was trying to accomplish in the 1st place. Classic example, getting hung up on the scale, measurements, etc. Obviously those are good ways to track your progress but when it becomes obsessive so that all you think about is getting on the scale again to see if you've lost weight then you're likely to forget totally that your original goal was to get leaner, healthier, compete etc. None of those goals require a specific number on the scale. By the time you've completely lost your mind over then number, likely gotten frustrated, quit, cheated, etc you realize that that's not where you were headed initially and hopefully get reset.

    Personally, my other issue is one of body recognition. I get comfortable seeing myself a certain way and when that changes it totally messes with my mind. I don't feel like myself, I feel a disconnect b/w what the mirror shows and what I think I look like. It's extremely disconcerting and can seriously throw me off my game and make me reconsider my goals all together. Of course, if I stay the course, I get used to the changes. During the time of disconnect tho, the urge to self-sabotage is strong w/ my mind saying "wait a minute, I really don't like this, maybe this goal is not for me".

    That was a long post and I don't know if it will make sense to anyone but this is at least what happens in my little world.
     
  4. patriciaann

    patriciaann Active Member

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    There isn't a simple answer no matter what you think. Everyday I welcome students who say they want to get a Ph.D. and I think it's an apt analogy. There are a number of issues.
    First and foremost, most really don't have a realistic understanding of what they are really working for beyond a piece of paper. The PhD really just says you have a working knowledge of the research process. If you want to become an expert, Ah! that's following the path of doing a postdoc and then becoming the artisan=faculty member and working for tenure and promotion (analogy: competing and working your way up the ranks). Neither do I believe do most clients (I include myself in this category). Most think that they will train and "win" No one ever expects that they won't place. No one views their effort as teaching them how to eat properly, how to train, grow muscle, etc.
    Second, most really do not have any inkling of what the process really entails. Students start out taking coursework. They serve as teaching assistants. They write and defend an original research proposal. They apprentice with a faculty member working on a series of projects. They present and defend their work in a written thesis and oral defense (analogous to the competition). Most competitors really don't understand that they have to follow the diet, do the workouts, practice posing - they think it's a hobby (and unfortunately so do many grad students).
    Third, because they don't understand what they are really getting and don't know what the process really entails, they don't/can't count the cost. They don't realize that the research has to come first -that they have to work eighty hours a week. They don't understand the "experiment" has to come first. They don't understand the process will take five or six years at a minimum. They don't understand why they have to TA, write a proposal, etc.
    Everyone always thinks they know everything! LOL! It's tough but as a mentor you just have to remember that your charges are really children. You try to train them and hope that they open themselves to the process, learn, and mature. Not everyone is successful and sad as it is I think that's OK because not everyone is meant to be a PhD anymore than everyone is meant to be a figure pro. I think if in the end an unsuccessful charge recognizes that he/she really doesn't want the degree, isn't willing to submit to the process, and can't accept the cost then you have done your job.
     
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  5. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    No actually they're not, and that's an often made point. The scale is NOT a good way to track your progress. Never has been and never will.

    Measurements can start off being useful but they become less and less useful the leaner and leaner you get. You can't quantify everything. How do you quantify by measurement an increase in vascularity? Does the lack of quantifiable evidence deny the qualitative progress observed?

    You can't measure everything. The leaner one gets the more qualitative and the less quantitative progress becomes.

    THIS is part of the problem actually. The overreliance on scale weight as an indicator of fat loss progress, or lack thereof.
     
  6. Firm Hottie

    Firm Hottie Short & Sassy!

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    I think the crux of the problem is that people want instant results, and expect them, even though that's very unrealistic. How often do we see commercials for these "Lose-all-your weight-in five-minutes" programs, touting 3-5 lbs of weight loss a week? Or see ads saying "Lose up to 30 lbs in a month"? And don't even get me started on shows like the "Biggest Loser". :dry:

    People see the before and after pictures, but never think about the time in between the taking of those photos, so they often don't have a realistic expectation of how long it takes to get from before to after. So, when they start a plan and don't see pretty much immediate results, they get discouraged, and either stop dead in their tracks, or start making lots of allowances because, hey, the program really wasn't working anyway. :rolleyes:
     
  7. char-dawg

    char-dawg Mr. Observant

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    For those of you who get requests for diet advice from random people (coming up to you in the gym, etc.), ones who you KNOW are never going to really put forth the effort to stick to it, here is Dr. Char's patented Way of Dealing With Them:

    "Sure, I'll be happy to help you out. All you need to do is get yourself one of those calorie counter books and keep track of everything you eat for the next ten days. Don't eat anything special, just keep a pencil and paper with you and log in everything that you put in your mouth. Then at the end of the ten days you figure up your average calories-per-day, and let me know that number. Then I'll be happy to give you a plan."

    In more than 30 years of being in the gym, only three people have ever actually gotten back to me. :lol: And those three stuck with it.

    For all the rest, this makes the whole process clear in a way that isn't insulting. Because it's pretty obvious that if you don't have the discipline to carry a pencil and paper around for ten days, you're never going to be able to handle a diet.

    And for you, it eliminates all the wasted time that you would otherwise give to someone who's going to completely ignore your advice. Win-win all the way around.
     
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  8. RpH

    RpH I'm actually educated

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    I do this in the pharmacy all the time. No one has ever come back with a total.
     
  9. char-dawg

    char-dawg Mr. Observant

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    Give it another few years, young Jedi. Eventually, your True Disciple will come.
     
  10. carla

    carla Member

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    This is a great thread..especially for me who has this issue at this time. I think b/c I do know how much time, sacrifice, etc it takes to be good at this sport, I am struggling now. I know how hard it was to get that "shredded" look and how much time away from family and just sacrifice it took to be in that kind of shape. So when i think about doing it again, I just wonder if I could do that again. I was talking to Lisa (lovetoworkout) about what I used to do to get ready for shows and I can't imagine doing that all over again. I seem to have issues believing that I could get to that level of conditioning again without doing all that sacrifice again..like 1.5 hours of cardio, 1200 cals per day, water depletion. My issue is purely a "get over what was done in the past" issue. My last comp was back when fitness girls all looked like little bodybuilders and you had to be shredded to the bone to step on stage. I loved being on stage but I can remember felling so bad on the way to get there. That still sits with me when I think of contest prep. Not quite the same anymore. It's funny....how many people have to tell me that is does not have to be that way for me to believe it? It's almost like a disorder.
     
  11. Inatic

    Inatic Ya Gotta Wanna! Moderator

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    your sacrifices wouldnt be anything like you've experienced before to that degree., working with erik.. . Take it from lisa doing it another way..
     
  12. carla

    carla Member

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    I have plans from Erik..and they are not bad at all...I keep thinking..It's got to get worse..it has to..the diet will get harder and more training required.

    It just has to..right?? That is what is in my mind...not saying it is true but this is purely my mental issue with not getting myself in the game. All my responsibility. I go from "having it " to "not having it" within a few months. I would like to find a way to "have it" all the time. Purely my inability to take control of the situation and what needs to be done and be willing to try "not" doing everything that I did in the past. It's just pitiful really.....it's all an issue of mind over matter for me really.
     
  13. Inatic

    Inatic Ya Gotta Wanna! Moderator

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    maybe if you ask/chat with erik what 'life down the road a wee bit might look like', you might be quite surprised. that might help end some of the speculations you have. :)
     
  14. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    Deep down (not even deep down actually) this represents a lack of trust in your coach's abilities.
     
  15. char-dawg

    char-dawg Mr. Observant

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    It's like you're the new boyfriend after the old boyfriend.
     
  16. Visionquester

    Visionquester Active Member

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    Static

    Well life is not static.. it is ever changing and with that comes priorities that change. So for me any time I have claimed to want something with a burning passion but yet have not followed through with my actions simple meant that I wished I wanted it.... oh maybe because people around me have that expectation... or I have that expectation for myself... but in reality something else is more important at this point in my life. Basically... it's a matter of clinging to what once was rather than what is.

    So for me.... it is a matter of not being conscious or fully aware of what it is exactly that prevents me from fully committing.

    Does this make any kind of sense? It's basically outgrowing something but not wanting to part ways..

    ~C.
     
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  17. Patricia

    Patricia Well-Known Member

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    Yes! Makes perfect sense.
     
  18. BigDog

    BigDog Well-Known Member

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    :goodpost:
     
  19. Erik

    Erik Admin

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    :bump:
     
  20. KKKRRR

    KKKRRR New Member

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    My experience with this topic:

    Began "prepping" for a figure competition at 16 weeks out last January. I had this belief in my mind that since I was "prepping" the fat would fall off. I had the "plans" from my coach.. turns out I actually had to FOLLOW the plans to see results-- saying I was "prepping" was not enough:laugh::piggie:

    It turns out that my BIGGEST problem was my undiscovered gluten intolerance (extreme fatigue, constant hunger, nausea, insane water retention-- YUCK!) and once this was finally diagnosed, and I was actually able to FOLLOW a damn plan and felt healthy and energetic, the fat began to fly. Too bad I didn't figure this out until AFTER that competition date. BUT a couple months later, I made it to the stage :D


    So heres two pics : the first one was when I was "prepping" and letting the gluten intolerance take over my life while still believing I was going to magically get lean. The second one is 2 months after going gluten free!
     

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